I have to cry too!

Remember Bill Bixby of the Incredible Hulk show? When we were little, my brothers had fun of teasing  me and annoying me. Mostly, disrupting our playtime. I used to say ‘don’t make me angry, you will not like me when I’m angry.’ I said it to get their attention and get off my back. They looked at me and knew that I was bluffing. Because very rare that I get so angry.

Today, the fifth day  that my son is in recovery. That is just about what I’m thinking to do. To turn into” Lou Ferrigno” and become “THE INCREDIBLE HULK” the  heavy-weight green creature.  Lifting and performing a 360 degrees discus turn and throw away  that damn motorcycle.   To disappear completely out of my sight.  Never to be seen again, and tried to ease the pain that causing distress to  my beautiful boy.

For 16 long years, I was able to say no to  buying a motorcycle. It’s not only because it’s expensive, but because a cousin had  the injury   himself, and my former college boyfriend died of it too. Added to it that it costs too much.

Unfortunately, I could only be like the green’ oompa-loompa’ with my size and built. So there’s no way I can pick up that…. that  motorcycle, and throw  it up in the sky. Or maybe into the ocean, where it can get rusted and forgotten. No, I can’t do that, Can I?  It  will damage the corals and rubbish the sea bed.  Nor, I cannot get angry with the person who gave my son a motorcycle.

I can only be angry with myself( for accepting his friend’s motorcycle).  No, erased that! I am mad, utterly in raged. But what will it do to me? The damage was done.

He’s in pain and he is recuperating. My poor son had to walk with his ghastly leg, loosing blood and pushing the damn piece of junk  that doesn’t want to start.  { I’m glad that I can remember my #first aid lessons, and assisted him at once} My only consolation is that, at least now he knew that motorcycle will not do him any good and be banned  forever in our house.

There’s no way I will be fooled  into accepting any vehicle ever again.

I hope he really learned his lesson, and no, don’t give me  any hope,  and don’t tell me what  this  roaring  madness,  two-wheeler piece of junk  is good for. I will not listen to anything.  Not anymore!

Children do not understand what they’re putting their parents through, with all these moments  of indecisive actions.  We are the one to suffer and accept every criticism that will come out of their little mouths the minute their pains are unbearable. From  the  meek to a grumpy old bear. From a quiet  young  lad to a clashing cymbals with a high pitch sound. I could only play nursemaid and utter sweet thoughts and reassuring graces that everything will be alright. Things will soon get back to normal, and one can only pray and hope, that the recovery will  come to end as quickly as it started.

I would not like to be in the same situation  ever again.

Please forgive my runting..It’s one of those days that showing brave face, and a determined attitude is not always successful and going according to plan.

Sometimes, even if they call me their super mum,  I have to cry too and unload the burden. Do you?

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe and well!

Zienna♥

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2 thoughts on “I have to cry too!

  1. Zienna writting from the heart, memories, humor, mother’s emotions and what you know! I loved reading this! Can not wait for your next one to come out. Glad your son is doing better and that the Lord protected him so you can love/yell at him more! 🙂 God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

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